The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
