I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
well you can't waste a boner
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
jump out the window naked night went bad
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
