dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
