Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
