I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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