I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
