whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
