My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
