dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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