D3 body, D1 cock
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
