Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
