Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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