Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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