for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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