I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
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