I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
