i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
