I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
