i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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