____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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