Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
