Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
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