Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
