but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
