The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
