The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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