I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
