what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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