It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
