I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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