Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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