Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Randomize
