your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
