my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
