mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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