You really coming over, don't trick.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
