Porn is love you can see.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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