So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
