can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's just like the Real World with babies
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
