Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
