How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
