Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
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