dude i'm inner monologue high
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
