Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
