I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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