Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
