i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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