See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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