she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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