This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
