i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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