i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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