Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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