I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
