She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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